No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
