so explain again why im purple
no
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
