Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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