His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
