I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
