look no pants
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
P.S. I can't hear my feet
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.