it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
