Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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