Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
