I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
