there was a trapeze. enough said
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
