We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Randomize
