I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Is Oprah even human
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
