I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
