we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
