I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
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And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
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I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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