So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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