If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
