Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
