I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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