i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
