I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
