can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
my liver is dry heaving
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
