it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
