So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize