I don't remember. Are we still dating?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
