I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize