If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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