Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
