Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
