I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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