Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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