In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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