Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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