if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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