i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I think my vagina is haunted
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I think your dad took our porno
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
