R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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