it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
