Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
