U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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