the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
