Who wears a wallet chain?!
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Never underestimate the power of titties
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
