if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
