My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
