I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize