do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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