all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
