I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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