This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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