If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
