One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
