Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
