MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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