your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
