There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
