I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
