This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
well you can't waste a boner
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
