He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
