You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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