Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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